People are Strange
by kamz00r
Summary: A few instances in which total strangers had the pleasure of meeting the ever strange Commander Shepard and her ex-vigilante boyfriend.


So there was this kid in C-Sec, about twenty years old. His name was John. His shifts were usually pretty simple. One day he was posted as a guard in the Zakera Ward, the next he was banging down doors for noise complaints. Pretty routine stuff. So it wasn't out of the ordinary when his superior had sent him out to investigate some disturbance on the Presidium. Apparently a couple of delinquents had decided to start firing their guns away.

As John made his way towards the location he noticed the two suspects standing near the top of the area. One was definitely a turian, the other was a human woman.

Before he could find a place to park he saw the turian had turned to his companion and wrap an arm around her waist. They appeared to be talking. John furrowed his brow these two seemed awfully…close. John parked the skycar as close as possible before making his way towards the suspects.

As he walked to the two, gun at the read, he saw the turian look at him and laugh. The human was still facing away but the turian nudged her and gestured towards the upcoming C-sec officer. He whispered something in the human's ear.

"Excuse me!" John began, keeping his tone firm, "What do you two think you're doing firing guns up here? Don't you know that's illegal? And furthermore civilians aren't allowed-" the woman turned around then and John stopped his rant. "O-Oh my God, you're, uh, you're," John stuttered.

"Commander Shepard." The turian finished for him, putting his hand back around the commander's waist. Shepard smirked and leaned in to his chest. "Can I help you officer?" She asked.

John froze. "Well, uh, you see ma'am, it's against the law to fire arms in the Presidium. But I had no idea it was you up here!" He stated nervously. He had heard stories about this woman. He once heard a rumor that she took out an entire fighter jet with just a pistol and a few grenades. He made sure to keep his eyes focused on her forehead rather than maintain direct eye contact.

The turian leaned down to brush her ear. "See? Told you we were in trouble." He mumbled. Shepard nudged him with her elbow. "This was your idea in the first place, Garrus."

Of course. Her turian…friend was none other than Garrus Vakarian. Here John was facing two of the galaxies most dangerous people. Then is omni-tool started ringing. "John can I get a report?" It was Bailey. John brought his omni-tool in front of him.

Sheapard spoke up. "Hey Bailey, it's me." She said. "Shepard? What the hell are you doing up there?" Bailey asked with a laugh.

"Just showing Garrus the right way around a sniper rifle." She grinned. Garrus rolled his eyes. "Well as long as you two aren't firing up the streets." Bailey said, "John, quit bothering the Commander and report back to HQ."

"Not a bother at all, Bailey." Shepard vouched, patting the officer's shoulder with a little more force than she probably meant to. "I'll be there in ten." John cringed and put his omni-tool away.

"Keep up the good work officer!" Shepard said cheerfully as he walked back to his car. John could only nod dumbly.

He needed a drink.

* * *

There were two men hanging outside of a bar on the Citadel, just waiting for some poor bastard to stumble out. Someone who wouldn't recall their faces in the morning when confronted in a dark alley.

"I don't know about this place." One said to the other, "I heard there were some blues hanging out inside earlier."

His friend turned to shoot him a glare. "Don't be such a whimp. Every one of those idiots inside is easy money, even the alliance shit heads. We talked about this already."

The other let out a sigh and nodded. Both turned back to look at the doors and wait.

A little while later a human and a turian stumbled out, both clinging to one another and laughing loudly.

One of the thugs spoke up, "Hey check out these assholes." He grinned, nudging his friend.

"I dunno. Do we wanna deal with a turian tonight?" The other complained.

"What did I just say about being a whimp, Donny? 'Sides, once we bring the turian down the broad will be no problem!"

"Fine, but hurry your ass up, they're leaving!"

The two thugs followed the pair as they made their way through the dark streets. The woman seemed to have more trouble keeping a straight line than the turian but they noticed the turian was also leaning on the human for support as well.

"Why don't we head back to my place instead?" The human said in a shouted whisper. "It's closer than the ship."

The turian laughed, "Absolutely. Did I tell you how much I love that dress?" He leaned down to nuzzle her cheek, almost falling over in the process. "Only a few dozen times." The human replied.

The other thug made a gagging motion. "Do you hear these two?" He asked his partner quietly. "A turian and a human flirting with each other like fucking school kids."

The other thug, Donny, shook his head. "For real. Wait, Reggie! Look! They're turning! Let's do it here."

Both men followed the couple as they turned in to an alley way. "Ugh, wrong turn." The woman grumbled.

"Sucks to be you, lady." Donny spoke up, pulling out a switch blade. His partner did the same.

The two civilians turned and the thugs could finally get a look at their faces. They seemed awfully familiar. "Oh shit, Garrus." The woman said, "Are we being mugged?"

"Damn straight you're being mugged!" Reggie yelled. "Throw your wallets on the floor!"

"He says to give him our wallets." The turian, Garrus, informed the woman.

"But we never get mugged!" She replied incredulously, looking up at her friend.

"What the fuck did I just say?!" Reggie yelled again, stepping closer to the two. Donny did the same. "Pull out your wallets and any other valuables you got on you!"

"You know, we can't have one simple evening." Garrus complained.

"Are you idiots even listening?!" Donny yelled, swinging his knife towards the woman but before it could make contact the long knife hit something orange.

The woman had pulled out an omni-blade and blocked his swing. "Do you two even know who I am?" She asked.

"Shepard, we could just call C-sec." Garrus suggested.

"Shep-Shepard?! As in_ Commander_ Shepard?!" Reggie asked, dropping his knife. "Man, fuck this!" He yelled and turned to run out of the alley way.

"Oh no you don't!" Shepard called and ran after him. Before he could get any further she grabbed his collar and threw him back into his friend. "You two think you can just go around ruining people's dates? Do either of you even know how short our shore leaves are?" She asked.

Donny didn't answer. Instead, he shot back up and pulled his fist back, aiming for the Commanders face but before his fist could make impact he was pulled away by the turian. "Hey! That's my girlfriend you're trying to hit." He growled.

Reggie took this moment to pick up his knife and take a swing at the turians legs but Shepard kicked him in the ribs, sending him back to the ground.

"I'm gonna enjoy this." She sighed and cracked her fingers.

Minutes later, the two thugs were in a pile, groaning softly. "Idiots." Shepard scowled, "Teach you to mess with me! I'm from Brooklyn!"

"I've called C-Sec, Shepard." Garrus said. "Shouldn't be long now."

"Hey, maybe we can tie them up and hang them from the lamp post before they get here. Like Spiderman?" Shepard grinned, nudging one of them with her foot.

"Shepard, you're drunk and I don't even know what a Spiderman is." Garrus said with an affectionate sigh.

"It's a vid. We can watch it when we get back to my place, but only after I've ravaged you senselessly." Shepard grinned, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Sounds like a plan." Garrus purred.

"You two are fucking nuts." Donny groaned.

Shepard kicked his leg.

* * *

Mira stood in front of Commander Shepard's apartment door, mentally preparing herself. She had been told deliver some important documents regarding the war from Admiral Hackett to the commander early that morning. It was now eight am.

Mira hesitantly knocked on the door and waited. No one answered. She knocked again and heard a grumble from the other side. The door swung open to reveal a very large and agitated man who was half dressed. "Can I help you?" He asked.

"Oh! Um, yes! I'm Mira Jones, Alliance Intel, officer in training." Mira spoke up. "I need to speak with Commander Shepard please!"

"Lola? Sure, c'mon on in. I'll get Scars to wake her up. She can get a little grumpy in the mornings." The man laughed, opening the door fully.

"She isn't awake yet?" Mira asked, walking over the threshold. The man shook his head, "Not everyone is yet. Hell, the only reason I was up was 'cause I was closest to the door." He laughed.

She followed the man through the living room. Was that a krogan passed out on the couch?

They made their way up the stairs where Mira saw an asari sitting criss cross, eyes closed. As they passed the asari spoke up, "The Commander and Garrus are still sleeping."

"Yeah well, she's got a visitor. Alliance business." The man said.

"Neither are…dressed for company, James." The asari said.

James let out a laugh. "Shit, alright! Chica, you wait here, I'll go grab Scars." He said before disappearing into the other room.

Mira stood on the other side of the rooms entry way. No one back at HQ had ever said anything about the Commander having a partner. She was curious.

"Hey, buenos dias ugly!" She could hear James say quietly.

"James." A male voice replied. It sounded strange and muffled. "What the hell do you want?"

"There's an Alliance Intel officer outside. Needs to speak with the Commander."

The other voice groaned. Mira could hear the shuffling of sheets. "And throw some damn clothes on while you're at it!" James laughed quietly.

"Yeah yeah." The other voice sighed.

James walked back out of the room and looked to Mira. "Give 'em a minute."

She nodded, "Thank you, sir."

He stretched and Mira couldn't help but stare at him as his muscles flexed. "Guess I'll make some eggs." He mumbled and walked back downstairs.

Mira let out a breath. If that was just one of the members of Shepard's crew she couldn't wait to get a look at her partner! She waited anxiously.

She did not expect a turian to walk out the door. A very tall, and intimidating turian. Who was also half dressed. Mira looked up at him, eyes wide.

"You need Shepard for something?" He asked, his dual tones echoing softly.

"O-oh! Um, yes sir! See, I was given instruction by Admiral Hackett to deliver these messages to-"

The turian, (she guess this was the Garrus the asari had mentioned) cringed and held a hand up. "Please, not so loud." He sighed. "Okay, if you want I can take those messages and give them to her when she wakes up."

"No can do, sir!" Mira said, "These messages could be very important! It's against policy to just give them to strangers. Uh, no offense."

Garrus shook his head. "Alright, I'll get her. Just keep your voice down when she wakes up." He asked and turned back into the doorway.

Mira followed quietly till she was standing at the door and watched as he walked over to the bed. The light from the hallway allowed her to see the beer bottles spread all over the floor. She could also see a huddled figure beneath a pile of comforters.

The turian sat on the edge of the bed and shook her very gently. "Jane, wake up." He called quietly.

A raspy voice answered him. "Oh, look who's here."

Garrus laughed, "Yeah, I hung out at a lot of places last night." He said softly, placing a hand on her waist. "Your upper body, your lower body. Pretty much all the part in between." He leaned down and kissed her gently.

Mira stepped back and looked away, her cheeks red.

"Turians certainly don't lack for a sense of direction." Shepard said coyly and laid her head back down.

"And you don't lack for places to get lost." He said, moving to get back up.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked.

"Well," Garrus began cautiously, "I hate to ruin the mood but there is an Alliance Intel officer who needs to speak with you."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Are you shitting me?" She asked.

Mira took another step back.

"Nope. Says she has something from Admiral Hackett."

"Of course she does! Can't even get one day away from it all." She groaned. Garrus laughed, "Well, we are at war Shepard."

"Don't sass me Vakarian. Throw me a shirt."

Mira took this moment to leave the room and wait outside the door.

Shepard came out a minute later, wearing nothing but an oversized shirt and sweatpants. She walked over to Mira, crossing her arms. The commander stood a good five inches or so taller than her. "Well? What's so important it can't wait until I get back to my ship, cadet?"

Mira was in awe. She had never even seen the commander before, but here she was. Her intimidating gaze seemed to go right through her.

Garrus came up behind her. "She said she had some messages to hand over."

Mira nodded and handed Shepard a few datapads. She scanned them over for a moment before looking back up to the cadet. "And why couldn't you email these to my private terminal?" She asked dryly.

Mira froze. Why hadn't she? She had been so flustered over being given this mission from Admiral Hackett of all people; it had totally slipped her mind!

"I-I apologize, ma'am! I had no idea you were on shore leave!" Mira said, standing at attention.

Shepard sighed and rubbed her eyes. "It's fine cadet. Appreciate you making the trip up here."

Mira let out a relived sigh. "Thank you ma'am! I'll be going now, ma'am!" She said and hurried down the steps.

As she passed the kitchen, James stopped her. There were a few others she hadn't seen before there as well. "Aw, you're not gonna stay for breakfast? Sorry if the commander snapped at you. She's not the best morning person."

The others around him laughed but Mira coughed nervously. "Thank you, sorry for the disturbance." She called and left the room in a hurry.

Back upstairs, Shepard had walked back into her bedroom and collapsed back on the sheets. She felt Garrus do the same and wrap his arms around her. "Why is it whenever someone meets you they end up stuttering over their words?"

Shepard shrugged. "It's a gift."

"Or we need to work on your social skills." He suggested, nuzzling her neck.

"Or we could quit worrying about my social skills and work on my _other _ones right now." She replied.

Garrus grinned. "Well how can I argue with that? Your persuasion skills certainly aren't lacking."

"Shut up and kiss me."

* * *

**A/N: **So I finished the Citadel DLC the other day and afterwards all my shakarian feels came back to me with full force! AND THEN I REALIZED I will never love another ship like I do this one! AND NOW ITS ALL OVER /GROSS SOBBING anyway this is just a drabble I wrote in a few hours after my playthrough. THANK YOU FOR READING, PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW! Kissu~


End file.
